Sorting Hat Sunday: The Lord of the Rings

Frodo looked gloomily out of the window of the Hogwarts Express. The countryside was beautiful, he supposed, but it was nothing to the Shire. His home. Which he might never see again.

“Cheer up, Mr. Frodo,” Sam said, patting his back. “It can’t be all bad where we’re going.”

Frodo smiled at his friend, though the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. “No Sam, I don’t suppose it will be all bad.” He sighed. “And if Gandalf says I need to go, well, there’s nothing else for it, is there?”

“Mr. Gandalf thinks the Ring will be safe at Hogwarts,” Sam said.

Frodo watched all of the children, all bigger than he, running past his windows through the corridor. Once again he felt the familiar urge to disappear. His hand itched to grab the ring. Frodo turned back toward the window.

“I hope so, Sam.”


Frodo

“I will take the ring to Mordor, though I do not know the way.”

Any other arguments aside, this is Frodo’s defining moment, and he does the right thing even though he doesn’t want to.

Sorting Hat Says: GRYFFINDOR!

Sam

I mean, do we even have to discuss this one?

Sorting Hat Says: HUFFLEPUFF!

Argorn

Okay, this one I am willing to talk about.

The obvious decision is to put Aragorn into Gryffindor. He is a brave warrior, no doubt about it. But if we just put every warrior into Gryffindor, this would be a pretty dull game. Because, like, all of the characters are brave warriors. Aragorn also possesses deep wisdom, and is well learned in the lore of his people. He knows the healing treatments lost to all others over the ages. He is also ambitious enough to seek the throne and to attempt to overthrow Sauron. He’s also deeply loyal to his people, a trait needed by any king. This is no easy choice.

But I think my final decision comes down to The Return of the King. Aragorn takes the freaking paths of the dead, he is brave enough to walk into certain doom to create a distraction at The Black Gate, and he has the guts to look into the Palantir. Maybe this isn’t such a hard choice after all…

Sorting Hat Says: GRYFFINDOR!

Gandalf

I mean, honestly, where else am I supposed to sort the guy who spent two decades looking for INFORMATION about a freaking ring?

Sorting Hat Says: RAVENCLAW!

Gollum/Smeagul

Hear me out! It’s so easy to put bad dudes in Slytherin, and I do it a lot, but it’s because bad dudes tend to be ambitious! That’s why they make “evil” choices, because they care more about their own gain than the folks around them!

In Gollum’s case, though, I was more focused on the “cunning” aspect of Slytherin house. I think that’s the exact word Legolas uses to describe him at the Council of Elrond. While there is definitely an aspect of ambition in his single-mindedness to get the ring back, he is sly enough and clever enough to trick Frodo and Sam into Shelob’s Lair with him. To find a way out of Mordor in the first place! To make arrangements to escape from his elfish prison. There’s only one place to put Gollum.

Sorting Hat Says: SLYTHERIN!

Merry

What strikes me about Merry is that he is such a good friend to Frodo, even before Frodo realizes he needs a friend. He’s always looking out for him or Pippin, willing to do anything for his friends. When all his friends are gone he transfers that affection almost immediately to Theoden, to the point where he risks his life to save his king from the Nazgul. It is his loyalty to his friends that allows him to strike down the witch king.

Sorting Hat Says: HUFFLEPUFF!

Pippin

“Fool of a Took!”

How many times do we hear this about Pippin? He is curious, constantly getting into things to learn more about them. While he isn’t what we might call book-smart, Pippin is definitely a person who is always learning and exploring.

Sorting Hat Says: RAVENCLAW!

Legolas

Legolas is also hard to sort. Elves are always aloof, so while he’s the elf we get to know best, you couldn’t really say we really understand Legolas. He lives in his own little world. Indeed, it seems silly to even attempt to sort an elf. They are above such human ideas, perhaps.

Gimli

Gimli is very much act first, think later. He thinks with his ax. When it comes to Galadriel his chivalry knows no bounds. Telling her she could give no gift better than a strand of hair. Be still my heart! And how he is willing to fight Eomer to defend her beauty! I love Gimli. Most underappreciated character. There, I said it.

Sorting Hat Says: GRYFFINDOR!

Boromir

Boromir is a warrior, through and through. It is what his father prizes most about him. He wants to use the Ring as a weapon against his enemies. What intelligence he has he uses for military strategy. He puts his life at risk without a second thought when a battle comes, and always leads the charge. While he has moments of ambition to take the Ring, that is simply the power of the Ring corrupting him, it is not necessarily in his nature.

Sorting Hat Says: GRYFFINDOR!

Faramir

If Denethor prizes Boromir for his warrior’s heart, he hates Faramir because he is not that person. Ironically, Faramir is described as having an aura of wizards, of being very much similar to his father, the scholar. He keeps his brains in charge of his heart, and that is how he is able to stay clear-headed enough to say “I would not take this thing if I found it on the side of a highway.”

Sorting Hat Says: RAVENCLAW!

Eowyn

I feel that we don’t quite get to know Eowyn well enough to make a good choice here, we only see her at the end of her character journey. But based on what we do see, her defining characteristics are definitely bravery and loyalty. I’m going to go ahead and boost her loyalty traits, just because I don’t think the chivalrous society she lives in would be really very happy with a woman taking up arms, lol.

Sorting Hat Says: HUFFLEPUFF!

Bilbo

No question here! Bilbo is decidedly not a Gryffindor, lol. Though he gets a taste for adventure eventually, it is definitely not in his nature. What is in his nature is to sit at home with his books writing poetry.

Sorting Hat Says: RAVENCLAW!

7 thoughts on “Sorting Hat Sunday: The Lord of the Rings

  1. haha love your opening- but there is no way the ring will be safe at Hogwarts- not when 11 year olds can break whatever protection the head decides to put in place 😉 Frodo and Sam are *spot on*! I agree that Aragorn ultimately belongs in Gryffindor. You’re totally right about Gandalf and Gollum as well. I’d have no idea where to put Legolas either. I like where you put Gimli, faramir and Boromir as well!

    Liked by 1 person

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