Sorting Hat Sunday: Brooklynn 99

“Hey Gina,” Jake said, looking nervously over his shoulder, “what’s the sorting?”

“Dude, Jake, you just gotta stop worrying about it, man. You’re cramping my style.”

“Gina, we all look exactly the same.”

“No, you all look exactly the same. I am a goddess.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Jake looked around again. Everyone else seemed so confident, and he … wasn’t. Maybe it was time to make another joke. “Do you think we’re going to have to fight a troll or something?” A girl standing behind him giggled.

“Jake, don’t be rediculous,” Gina said, “it’s not going to be a troll. It’s going to be way scarier, like a dragon or something.”

“WHAT? A DRAGON? Gina, we have to get out of here,” he whispered, panicking a little.

“Good evening students,” a tall, black teacher said in a shocking monotone as he walked through the door. “I am Professor Raymond Holt, and I will be your defense against the dark arts teacher this year.”

“You want us to call you Professor Raymond Holt?” Jake asked. The girl behind him giggled again.

Holt turned and stared at him. “Don’t you think that if I wanted you to address me as Professor Raymond Holt I would have instructed you to call me Professor Raymond Holt?”

Jake gulped. What does that even mean?

“Now, if no one else would like to make any other ridiculous attempts at humor, you may follow me into the Great Hall for the sorting.”

Jake Peralta

Jake is a classic goof-ball who is surprisingly competent and dedicated to doing the right thing. He’s like Fred and George. To me he is characterized by his loyalty to the 99 and to his captain. He always does the right thing, even when it sucks, and is brave enough to go under cover, turn in dirty cops, and wait it out in prison.

Sorting Hat Says: GRYFFINDOR!

Rosa Diaz

Rosa would refuse to put that stupid hat on her head. All of you are idiots, she says. What even happens if someone refuses to put on the sorting hat??? I guess McGonagall has to put her in Hufflepuff, since that’s the house which takes all the rest…

Terry Jeffords

One of the things I love about Terry is that he is such a great boss. He is whoever he needs to be for each of the members of his team. He’s a great friend, and he knows how to talk openly and honestly about his feelings. Terry also loves his family, and while that’s never been explicitly listed as a house trait, it reminds me more of one than the others.

Sorting Hat Says: HUFFLEPUFF!

Amy Santiago

I’m a little unsure where to put Amy right at the moment. She’s got some classic Ravenclaw traits, like her love of studying and her obsessive organization skills. But she’s also got that Slytherin ambition. She wants to be a captain, and everything she does is working towards that goal with a single-minded effort. I guess, though, that she’s not willing to do things she shouldn’t to get what she wants like some of those in power do on the show…

Sorting Hat Says: RAVENCLAW!

Charles Boyle

There’s only one place you could put a Boyle.

Sorting Hat Says: HUFFLEPUFF!

Hitchcock & Scully

I think my sort here is going to surprise some people. If you haven’t watched the episode about young Hitchcock and Scully, you need to. So hear me out. Their young selves were kind of classic jock cops whose biggest concern was their image. Now they are willing to do LITERALLY ANTYHING to get their food and their naps. Also, Scully is like, scary.

Sorting Hat Says: SLYTHERIN!

Gina Linetti

I feel there is no need to explain where to sort the character who literally left the show to serve her own bizarre ambitions as a social media influencer.

Sorting Hat Says: SLYTHERIN!

Captain Holt

Captain Holt is interesting to sort because we are still so slowly getting to know the real Holt. On the one hand you might label him ambitious. He had the ability to rise to captain, and he ran a serious race for commissioner. But when you peel back the deeper layers you realize he did all of those things not to serve himself, but because he felt like it was his duty to make the world a better place.

Sorting Hat Says: GRYFFINDOR!

11 thoughts on “Sorting Hat Sunday: Brooklynn 99

  1. OMG this is gold! I love love love this post ❤ Made me want to go binge on B99 again T_T
    I would only change one sorting – Rosa. I think she's a total Slytherin (even if she does have her Huffle moments on occasion). Otherwise, perfect selection and I really enjoyed the little piece of fan fiction at the beginning – adorable, quirky and so B99 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I just can’t picture Gina getting sorted into ANY house, honestly. What I could absolutely picture is her crossing her arms and refusing to participate. It was kind of a cop-out for not knowing where to put her, tbh.


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