Sorting Hat Sunday: Literary Monsters

Sorting Hat Sunday (1)

Vlad impatiently watched the countryside inch by. England was a long journey, but it would be worth it to study with Salazar Slytherin, the greatest wizard of the age. Slytherin had contacted Vlad’s family himself, said he wanted only the best wizards to study with him. Vlad was determined to be the best. To be better even then Slytherin. Someday…

It had been weeks and still they had not reached the ocean. He cursed his father’s lack of magical ability. His mother could have apparated him instantly to Hogwarts. But his mother was dead.

Not that his father lacked magic! Vlad reminded himself to be more careful with his thoughts. No, his father was a wizard all right, just a poor one. He’d never been properly taught. Transylvania was so remote. Vlad was not sorry to be leaving. He only hoped that in Scotland he would find what he was seeking. The key to bringing his mother back, or at the very least to protect himself from her fate.


Dracula

Here is a man who is ambitious, and cunning enough to achieve his goal of world domination. That seems to be his primary motivation for moving to London: there are more people there for him to control and feed upon. He is a master influencer and manipulator. All these things point to one place, for me…

Sorting Hat Says: SLYTHERIN!

sorting hat

Frankenstein’s Monster

This poor guy never even gets a name! It seems to me that Frankenstein’s Monster is primarily driven by a desire for companionship. It’s hard to tell for sure, because Frankenstein is quite prejudiced against him and doesn’t agree, but I think all the monster really wants is a friend.

Sorting Hat Says: HUFFLEPUFF!

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Mr. Hyde

This is one of those weird ones, because Dr. Jekyll definitely goes in one place, but Hyde seems to go somewhere else. How much does Jekyll influence Hyde and vice versa? Meh, just for the sake of some diversity, we’ll sort him assuming Jekyll is still in there somewhere.

Sorting Hat Says: RAVENCLAW!

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Dorian Gray

Okay, not a monster, but this guy’s so terrible, and this story is so creepy, I just had to include him.

Ugh, Dorian is the most selfish, self-centered guy in the history of mankind. He doesn’t even seem to ever have a reason for anything he does except that he likes it and it makes him feel good. He is selfish, greedy, and out for one person only. It makes him hard to sort, because really none of the houses are about that. But in my opinion that is closer to ambition than anything.

Sorting Hat Says: SLYTHERIN!

sorting hat (1)

Phantom of the Opera

I’ll be honest, I’m not sure how much of this opinion is coming out of the musical, because my memory of the book is pretty hazy. But the Phantom is most certainly a genius. He is willing to devote long hours to the study and practice of music, as well as being handy in creating all sorts of contraptions.

Sorting Hat Says: RAVENCLAW!

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Grendel

Huh. This is harder than I thought it would be. On the one hand, this guy seems personally offended by the joy of others, which reminds me of a certain potion’s master I could name. But on the other hand, he seems like a total idiot. According to Spark Notes he basically represents vengeance. So…

Sorting Hat Says: SLYTHERIN!

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The Grim Reaper

Man, this guy takes his duty seriously. How much must it suck to be reaping souls all day? Yet he does it, seemingly without complaint, for all of history. It takes a special sense of honor to continue in a job like that, even if you didn’t want to.

Sorting Hat Says: GRYFFINDOR!

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Cthulhu

I’ll be honest, I haven’t readΒ The Call of CthulhuΒ or anything else by Lovercraft. So I did some research and maybe I shouldn’t be trying to sort Cthulhu? Too late, here he is. So based on the practically nothing that Lovercraft reveals about him, I’m going to have to assume that any being that wants to be worshiped by humans is pretty dang ambitious.

Sorting Hat Says: SLYTHERIN!

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IT

Right. So. Like Dracula, IT is a master manipulator. IT enjoys the pain of small children, so it’s safe to say dark magic would probably appeal to it. IT also believes itself superior to everyone else.

Sorting Hat Says: SLYTHERIN!

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12 thoughts on “Sorting Hat Sunday: Literary Monsters

  1. hehe love how you wrote this!! And yup Dracula is one hundred percent a Slytherin! hehe good point about Frankenstein not even getting a name- I honestly think it makes the most sense for him to be in Hufflepuff (even if he’s not especially loyal) cos I just don’t think he’d fit into any of the other houses. hehehe as much as I hate it (being a Ravenclaw) Hyde belongs in Ravenclaw (and sharing a body is kind of appropriate for Ravenclaw, since I’m pretty sure that’s Quirrel’s house) Yup Dorian Gray is a Slytherin. hehe fair enough about the grim reaper! Awesome list!! Love this post!

    Liked by 1 person

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